A Map is More Unreal

than where you've been and how you feel.

Category: cricket

Five Insect Stories

Story Number One

Once upon a time, an expat teacher lived in a condo on a swanky condo street. There weren’t many access points to public transport because everyone else drove in expensive cars. So the expat teacher had to climb 67 concrete stairs from the bus stop to reach the swanky condo street. The last of the 67 concrete stairs rose out of a fetid puddle of stagnant jungle water that never seemed to dry up.  Every day the expat teacher saw something interesting at the fetid puddle of stagnant jungle water at the base of the last of the 67 concrete steps leading to the swanky condo street. In the fetid puddle she had seen toads, mice, dragonflies, giant land snails, mosquito larvae of a frightening size, wriggling worms, tadpoles, and once, a baby snake.

One sunny weekend day, the expat teacher noticed an iridescent turquoise flash. It was a Common Bluebottle butterfly. She fumbled for her camera and knelt at the edge of the fetid puddle which had once again yielded up its bounty to the delight of the expat teacher.

THE END

Story Number Two

Once upon a time in a condo on a swanky condo street lived a distinctly unswanky expat teacher and her two expat teacher roommates. One night when all three were about to settle in for a short night’s rest before waking up in the godless hours before dawn, the expat teacher was roused by someone shouting her name.

“Graaaaaaaaaaaace?!?! There’s a huge moth in my room!”

The expat teacher was conveniently just passing by her roommate’s bedroom had narrowly missed being brained by the door as her roommate rocketed out of her room. Her roommate stood in a cold sweat, suddenly still and silent, and mutely pointed at her curtains. The expat teacher locked eyes with the giant brown moth sitting on the curtains. She strode into the room, emanating a mysterious magnetic power. The moth took flight; the roommate whimpered from the hallway as it flew straight at the expat teacher and landed like a brooch on her chest and trembled there.

The expat teacher walked with silent assurance out of her roommate’s bedroom, past the stunned roommate in the hall, and into her own bedroom … and then darted for her camera. The moth-spell broken, the winged monster flew wildly at the ceiling light, stunning itself and falling behind the door where the expat teacher immediately began a photoshoot. The roommate poked her head into the bedroom: “Should I … uh … leave you two alone?”

THE END

Story Number Three

Once upon a time, on a swanky condo street, an expat teacher was just returning to her bedroom from the front door where she had been releasing an enormous moth back into the balmy tropical night. Just as she was passing her roommate’s room, she was startled by a piercing shriek from within, “GRAAAAAAACE! There’s another bug in my room!”

The expat teacher burst into the room, brandishing her camera still warm from the moth’s photoshoot. The roommate was standing in a corner pointing at the curtain. A small praying mantis stood on the curtain with cocked head, trying to kill everything with its furious praying mantis gaze. The expat teacher sprang into action, trying to make her camera go into macro mode with sheer will alone (and failing.) She pursued the mantis from curtain to wall to window, never managing to take a decent picture.

The little praying mantis – as proud as any of its kind – flew into the ceiling light in one last defiant kamakazi gesture, killing itself just to spite the expat teacher. Its small green body joined its brethren in the domed white tomb. It had won.

THE END

Story Number Four

Once upon a time, in the campus of a girls’ primary school in Singapore was a blue railing. It divided the road from the sidewalk and was usually bereft of life. One morning though, the Wednesday sun rose to illuminate a terrible and wonderful sight: two piles of red Singapore ants, all spindly legs and antennaes and beady black ant eyes. They didn’t move. They weren’t feeding. They simply sat in a still pile about four ants deep.

An expat teacher stood at the blue railing, blowing hard at the ant pile. Some students stood a few metres behind her, horrified. Slowly the ants started moving but they didn’t go anywhere, the just started moving their limbs around. Three hours later, they were still there. Four hours later, they were gone. What were the ants doing? By what fell means will they achieve their sinister goals? Were they ants at all? We may never know.

THE END

Story Number Five

Once upon a time, a woman went for a hike and saw a one-legged cricket trying to sing. It was heart-breaking.

THE END

Bukit Timah Nature Reserve

Yesterday I woke up and thought, yes, today is the day I visit Bukit Timah. I thought it exactly that way.

Bukit Timah Nature Reserve is just across the road from our condo – in fact, you can see it from my bedroom window – and it houses the highest natural point in Singapore at a whopping 163 m. The reserve is pretty huge (for something in Singapore) and is right in the centre of the island. I was so happy to end up living near it because I remember seeing a map of Singapore way back in February and going “*forceful point* THERE is where I want to live. Right there by that nature reserve.”  It’s the only remaining (relatively) untouched bit of Singapore and is inhabited by animals like monkeys, flying lemurs, serpent eagles, snakes, tarantulas, etc. It is a jungle. I live across from a jungle and had never stepped foot in it.

East out of my south-facing window. Yonder there be flying lemurs.

Interesting side-note: the visitor’s centre has a bit of information about what sorts of animals lived in Singapore before it became a teeming metropolis of condos. Such animals include pangolins (which may still be around,) flying foxes, and TIGERS. Mmhm. Real tigers.

In the golden days, Bukit Timah was also inhabited by pith-helmeted children. Oh, and flying foxes, yes. I love the expression on this kid's face; he has strong doubts that this is a good idea.

It was threatening rain all day and I briefly considered calling it another mall day but the prospect of taking pictures of bugs and clean, tree-filtered air were strong enablers in Alice’s absence. Rachel decided to come along too, and soon we were traipsing off into the Nature Reserve armed with cameras, umbrellas, and a continuous stream of bad accents. It was such a relief to be suddenly surrounded by trees and green and leaves as opposed to the usual streets, cars, buses, city fumes, busy people.

Trees look pareidolic to me sometimes.

The air was really lovely. Just like in Korea, the “hikers” were dressed up. People with hiking boots and hiking sticks and specially designed technologically advanced fabrics; but the paths are largely cement-paved or equipped with cement stairs. It wasn’t a hike so much as an uphill walk followed by a downhill walk. We wore sandals. No problem. I wouldn’t recommend climbing to the summit in sandals (and we didn’t) but everything else is piece of cake. Beautiful, green, nice-smelling nature cake.

The forest is curtained everywhere with vines and creepers.

Plants

We saw interesting plants a-plenty including strange rainforest flowers and many large, very tropical-looking trees.

Roomie Rachel and a nice big tree. Just what the doctor ordered for a B.C. girl.

A tiny wild orchid about 1 cm long.

A mystery berried stem. How festive!

A very soft button of moss on a felled tree.

More flowers.

More berries.

Fungus

A sinister smokestack-looking fungus.

Like a lunar eclipse.

A tiny, slimy tree fungus.

Insects

An anthill nestled between some tree roots. The ants hid from me, but I appreciated the way their home looks.

Possibly a type of "true bug". We caught him methodically scraping the green off this leaf. He was so absorbed in his work he payed no attention to me or my camera.

This little Argiope spider (1cm) and its pretty zig-zag web were photographed by Rachel. I tried, but in order to get a decent macro shot with my camera, you have to get preeeeeeetty close and I … am afraid of spiders. To be honest, I’m probably on the phobic side of afraid, actually. Jumping spiders aren’t so bad but one jumped on me yesterday when I was watching it watch ants, and I screamed. I felt like such a wuss.

Argiope genus spiders are often much larger and brightly coloured than this little guy.

A pretty beat-up Chocolate Pansy. (It took me forEVER to identify it!)

An ant feast

Another ant feast.

A very shiny black beetle.

After our little hike, we discovered a row of plants at the visitor’s centre that were extremely popular with the insects, particularly with crickets. We didn’t realize the plants were teeming with crickets until we followed the sound of one particularly loud cricket sound and found it, to my eternal surprise, just sitting on the tip of a leaf, singing its little heart out. I was really excited because I had never actually seen a cricket sing.

Slowly we discovered dozens more just chilling. They’re very pretty, yellow with silvery wings, and very gracile; not at all like the fat, squat, black crickets I’m used to seeing here.

Just enjoying the sun.

"That thur's a curket!"

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