평양랭면관 a.k.a. Gralice visits North Korea in the most convenient way

안녕!

난 진짜 행복했어 because Alice and I lived out our dream of visiting North Korea, albeit in a way lamer way than we had envisioned. Phnom Penh has one of those North Korean restaurants that have been popping up in other parts of Asia. It turns out Cambodia and North Korea have some fairly strong ties: the royal family of Cambodia and the Dear Leader’s family are tight. The current king of Cambodia actually studied film in North Korea.

Yeah, I know. Film. In North Korea. *helpless gesture*  I’m sure he attended the prestigious PyeongYang Institute of Moving Propaganda (PIMP).

Anyway, these restaurants are known for their N.Korean cuisine and nearly identical waitresses who delight South Korean businessmen with their feminine skills of BEING EXACTLY THE SAME. To whet your appetite, here is a hastily edited vid of what we managed to capture with the camera under a napkin (photography was NOT allowed.)

There you have it! These ladies were skilled: they each played about 3 instruments (well!) and sang and danced.
Alice and I and two other friends of Alice’s met and enjoyed that wild show as well as some “rengmyeon”.    Alice and I also devoured a plate of kimchi between the two of us with great relish and a sort of nostalgic desperation. Take it from us: North Korean kim chi is JUST as good as in the South (…if not better? Gasp!) At the end of the night they sang karaoke with a Korean ajusshi and a Chinese ajusshi. The ajusshis were loving it; turning redder than I’ve ever seen a drunk Korean man turn red before and roaring their approval of the song selections.

Rengmyeon = nengmyeon. Nengmyeon is my favourite Korean food, and it originated in Pyeongyang, so I was especially excited to order it at the restaurant, but it was SO different from its South Korean counterpart; chewier and less sour, more meaty.

We were excited to dust off our Korean and ask the waitresses about their lives. Our waitress was delighted and shocked by us ordering in Korean. Later in the evening when we started asking her about her life, she was even more shocked. Likewise, we were shocked by our inability to understand her accent. Here is a transcription of my favourite part of our conversation with her:

Alice: How did you get to Phnom Penh?
Waitress: …a plane.

She must have thought we were idiots.

But she did tell us she just applied for the job. (Autonomy!) She used to work in a hotel. (WHAT HOTELS!?) She studied dance and music when she was young. (We envisioned the Arirang Games.) She misses her family (held hostage in case she runs away.) She’s been here for a year or so (FORCED!) She sleeps in the embassy along with all the other waitresses. (Are they fed!?) And she likes it here (where she can almost taste the freedom.)

But honestly, it was really hard not to be THAT Westerner who scrutinized the waitresses for malnourishment or misery or subtle signs of wanting to escape. I don’t know enough about North Korea to even to begin to get in these girls’ heads. Just good luck to them.

Pangapsumnida!

I would totally go back and personally slip another $10 into Kim Jong Il’s pocket.